I suppose all you faithful blog-checkers deserve a new post to reward your persistence! I haven't really blogged anything since Christmas, so I'll try to recap what's been going on. My last day of full time employment was December 31st. Because of my new school schedule I now just work every other weekend. I had a few days off and got to spend time with friends and family (that was such a wonderful relaxing time!!). New Year's day we went to the wedding of a friend of ours and then after the wedding we went to Kaylea's house (which, by the way, is getting very close to completion and looks great with wood flooring, paint, etc . . .) for New Year's dinner. All my relatives and friends who live far away just really won't understand the meal we ate. You just have to live in the Midwest to understand, but let me try to explain. It is common knowledge in these parts that you must eat black eyed peas on New Year's day because it brings you good luck. Please understand, I am not the superstitious type, but I do it because . . . well, I don't know why. I guess cause I like black eyed peas! :) So we had this delish dinner of black eyed peas, pinto beans, cornbread, greens (yes, like collard greens - cooked with the bacon fat and all -- absolutely fabulous!!), cheesy potatoes, fried potatoes, and of course a nice crunchy green salad because my mommy was there!! :) Kaylea, her parents, Grandma Sharon (her dad's mom), Aunt Susan (her dad's sister), my mom and the girls all sat down in the great room and ate this scrumptious meal and laughed at Aunt Susan's stories until our stomachs ached. And amazingly enough we felt tremors all through the meal. . . . tremors from the basement where all the boys and Amy (Kaylea's soon-to-be-sister-in-law) we watching The Gladiator with surround sound!! The whole floor would vibrate and it sounded like thunder! It was such a fun and relaxing way to welcome in the new year!
A couple days later I started back to school. The LPN bridge class is like an intercession class that goes for a week and a half. You earn two credits and if you successfully complete the class (it's a pass/fail class), you are allowed to move on into the RN program. There were 4 days of classroom study followed by 3 days of clinicals in the hospital. In all of my clinical experience I have never had such a difficult clinical situation. Everything was against me. Except God. I don't even know how to describe it, except to say that I was absolutely, totally, completely, incomprehensibly overwhelmed. I had the same patient for 3 days and this patient had a multitude of problems and treatments that I had never encountered in the clinical setting before. I found out later from my instructor that she picked this patient out for me on purpose even though she knew how difficult it would be. She thought I could handle it. And I couldn't. At one point, I almost bailed out. I almost called it quits. But, God used my mom to tell me the truth (I'm learning that the only people who will hurt your feelings and tell you the truth are the people who really, really love you). The truth was that I was relying on my own strength. I was trying to go to clinicals and perform everything with absolute perfection based on my experience (which was minimal and almost non-existent for the things I was encountering) and my personality (which wasn't working with the difficult family member). My mom said to me "Jessica, you're trying to do everything based on yourself. You're not trusting in the Lord's strength". My response was, "I HAVE to, Mom! If I don't trust myself, what am I gonna trust? It's not like God's going to reach down and flush this PICC line for me!" However through some scriptures and my mom's counsel, the Lord showed me that it was about what I was doing on the outside, but what I was believing on the inside. My focus had been "I can't do this!" when it should have been "Lord, I have no idea what I'm doing, but YOU have led me to this place in my life and I trust that YOU are going to help me right here, right now. I need YOU to help me do this". It was a shift in my focus from me to Him. What a difference it made! It was the morning of the greatest distress and the most tears when the Lord lead me to a poem that reminded me of where my focus needed to be. I posted it on my blog that morning before I left for clinicals as a reminder to myself. "But let me only think of Thee and then new heart springs up in me"!
My last assignments for the LPN bridge were due on last Monday. Since then I have had the most amazing week! It has been like a trip to the spa, like a hot bath, pedicure, and manicure!! I didn't do any of those things, but I got to stay home almost the whole entire week with nothing to do but things that I love!! I made up the menu and went food shopping with Joanna. I cooked the dinners, made nice lunches for the kids, spent time with my family, cleaned my room, did laundry, visited friends, went shopping with my mom (more on that in a minute!!). A couple of nights this week I have been in bed reading at 8:45 at night (which is really early for me!!). I have just looked at this week as a blessing from God straight to me. It has been a long time since I've just been able to be home with the people I love the best for long periods of time with nothing to do but the things I love!!
Mom and I went shopping this AM and we bought new living room furniture!! I'm so excited! Here's a picture of the set. We bought the couch, love seat, and a different coffee table (same two-tone effect, but ours is prettier than the one in this picture). We hope to add to the set over (maybe the matching chairs, a sofa table, etc . . .). It should arrive in a few weeks. I'll try to post "before and after" pictures when it gets here!
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