Success.

October 21, 2013. 

I had waited for that day for 12 years. When I was 18 I had set my sights on being involved in missions. Many years and many days of faithful obedience had been required. Days of just plain old-fashioned obedience. Days that had prepared my heart, my spirit, and my profession. The day finally arrived when my country of service had been decided, my support had been raised, and my flight had been booked.

There it was looming before me. October 21^st: the day that would take me to live in Africa and serve alongside the church there. The day that would signal my transition into an effective and successful ministry. Right?

I boarded the plane in Paris. I flew over Eastern Europe. I transferred in Istanbul, crossed northern Africa, and landed in the inky darkness in Central Africa.

But just like every other day in my life, October 21^st came to an end. The clock said midnight, I brushed my teeth, and I went to bed.

And then it was October 22^nd. And I wasn’t feeling very successful.

And then it was October 23^rd. And I wasn’t feeling very successful.

And then it was October 24^th. And I wasn’t feeling very successful.

And then it was October 25^th. And I wasn’t feeling very successful.

And then it was a month later. And I still wasn’t feeling very successful.

And then it was almost two months later. And I pondered what success was.

As the sun came up each day, the question grew in my heart: HOW was I going to be successful in the task that I felt the Lord had given me to do?

Insecurities and feelings of being overwhelmed flooded me. This was a huge task I had agreed to. How was I even going to settle in and feel like I was remotely part of this culture? Much less develop a ministry?

It’s in the midst of this wide array of emotions and situations that I found myself returning again and again to the wisdom of the first missionaries I worked with in Haiti:

You don’t need to be “successful”, you need to be obedient.

That’s all that really matters: have I been faithful TODAY to what God asked me to do?

Looking back on every day of my life before October 21^st, all God had ever asked of me was faithful obedience.

And on every day of my life after October 21^st, that is still all He is going to ask of me.

Faithful obedience.

I saw it again when I was reading in 1 Corinthians today:

“So then men ought to regard us as servants of Christ and as those entrusted with the secret things of God. Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful.”

There it is: Faithfulness.

As the servant of Christ, I have but one job:

To simply be faithful and obedient in what He gives me to do to make Him known to the world.

Therein lies success, no matter where my residence happens to be.